Yeah, I'm not thrilled about sharing works in progress...it scares me.
I'd be the guy who would spank it, knead it, massage it, refine it, update it, refashion it....until it's exactly as I want it to end up. That's because I want you to LIKE me, and I don't want to be criticized. Not very Buddha nature, I know.
So that's my dilemma. I have to work with the challenge of being unfinished, and unpolished, unrefined, undone. So in that spirit, I'll stop typing now, and without looking back, I'll just post a little snippet of an idea I've been working on, which I'm going to add to later, and make a full piece out of.
OK, maybe I'll just go back and check my spelling once.......
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
This Vessel....the sequel
Most often, when we post on Facebook it's little humorous dalliances, fun little musings and other fluff from the minutia of our existence.
But then, someone will post something that really shakes you...
A friend, a wonderful person who I have known - and had worked with way back in the '90's - just posted that his partner passed away today, calling her in his sad post "the love of my life". This is the second post like this I've seen recently, from folks who were once in my life in a bigger way, and then moved on somehow. Facebook is a boon for these relationships, allowing us to be a little bit in touch. This guy is living 1000 miles away.
So many mixed emotions...I reach out to comfort and give appreciation for a person whose troubles I would have never been aware if not for Facebook, and that seems like a blessing -- to be able to at least try and be of some comfort.
I'm thankful for that opportunity, as I concurrently hope - with some doubt - that my words give the comfort that is compatible with how I feel. It feels like an affirmation to reach out. Of course, I feel the sadness as well, being well acquainted with the goodbyes that the end of life bring.
Still, I've never said goodbye to a partner at the end of their life. It feels clumsy, presumptive and embarrassing to say I know how it feels.
At a particularly low ebb in my life, I once wrote a fatalistic song. The opening lyric: "we're all alone my friend, we're all alone today -- and we're born and we die that way."
But is that true? We're born with a mother in waiting who is instinctually prepared to nurture us to maturity, and likewise instinctual is the propensity to comfort and help those who are passing, or are losing their loved ones.
I recently met a man with inoperable cancer who didn't have long to live, and he told me "my cancer is a gift." Of course he quickly added "I'd give it back if I could." Still, he was seeing an opportunity that was coming up because of it. He passed away about 2 weeks ago. So it would seem that my song lyric was a point of view, which has a ring of truth, but ultimately as fact it falls apart on reflection.
At the same time however, I sit in my room high atop Manhattan's never ending cycles, staring out at the sweeping view, where lights have faded from the frantic pace of rush hour, and the sense of aloneness is palpable. Outside, even now at 2:00 AM, a siren wails quietly, a train horn's plaintive sound in the distance and the garbage trucks making their rounds takes me back 25 years in an instant, to those days when I was a new transplant, roaming NYC's streets at this hour with the optimism and joy of the feeling that anything could happen. Just around the corner, there's greatness waiting patiently for me.
Tonight, there's two thoughts I think. The first is: what is it - this life - all about?
The second is: who am I...really?
More on the second thought later.
But then, someone will post something that really shakes you...
A friend, a wonderful person who I have known - and had worked with way back in the '90's - just posted that his partner passed away today, calling her in his sad post "the love of my life". This is the second post like this I've seen recently, from folks who were once in my life in a bigger way, and then moved on somehow. Facebook is a boon for these relationships, allowing us to be a little bit in touch. This guy is living 1000 miles away.
So many mixed emotions...I reach out to comfort and give appreciation for a person whose troubles I would have never been aware if not for Facebook, and that seems like a blessing -- to be able to at least try and be of some comfort.
I'm thankful for that opportunity, as I concurrently hope - with some doubt - that my words give the comfort that is compatible with how I feel. It feels like an affirmation to reach out. Of course, I feel the sadness as well, being well acquainted with the goodbyes that the end of life bring.
Still, I've never said goodbye to a partner at the end of their life. It feels clumsy, presumptive and embarrassing to say I know how it feels.
At a particularly low ebb in my life, I once wrote a fatalistic song. The opening lyric: "we're all alone my friend, we're all alone today -- and we're born and we die that way."
But is that true? We're born with a mother in waiting who is instinctually prepared to nurture us to maturity, and likewise instinctual is the propensity to comfort and help those who are passing, or are losing their loved ones.
I recently met a man with inoperable cancer who didn't have long to live, and he told me "my cancer is a gift." Of course he quickly added "I'd give it back if I could." Still, he was seeing an opportunity that was coming up because of it. He passed away about 2 weeks ago. So it would seem that my song lyric was a point of view, which has a ring of truth, but ultimately as fact it falls apart on reflection.
At the same time however, I sit in my room high atop Manhattan's never ending cycles, staring out at the sweeping view, where lights have faded from the frantic pace of rush hour, and the sense of aloneness is palpable. Outside, even now at 2:00 AM, a siren wails quietly, a train horn's plaintive sound in the distance and the garbage trucks making their rounds takes me back 25 years in an instant, to those days when I was a new transplant, roaming NYC's streets at this hour with the optimism and joy of the feeling that anything could happen. Just around the corner, there's greatness waiting patiently for me.
Tonight, there's two thoughts I think. The first is: what is it - this life - all about?
The second is: who am I...really?
More on the second thought later.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
My thoughts on health care....
This was a response to a facebook status update by a friend, basically agreeing with his thoughts
First, I think that we should have a single payer system. On the other hand, I have no illusion that that is currently politically possible.
I personally (and I say this respectfully, because I'm sure you mean well) don't understand the logic of folks who say that the government can't be trusted to accomplish the oversight of a reasonable health care system. As an example, look at the subject of schooling -- only the most far out of the mainstream person would think that we shouldn't have schools for everyone. No, they may not all be first rate, some may be poorly run, but what's the alternative - that only the rich people get educated?
Plus, you can still pay for private school if you want and have the resources.
Another example - suppose every one of us is responsible for the little piece of road in front of our house? Won't work. The government (state, local or national - depending on the road) HAS to do it.
The same people who support our keeping a standing army run by the government trot out this notion that the government can't do anything when they want to obstruct change. Why don't we all get some guns individually, and then we'll meet up in the town square when someone invades? Even John Boehner doesn't think that (note to John: lighten up on the spray tanning product, fella.)
We need the government, when things aren't working in government, we need to improve them by voting, protesting etc., but government is a reality.
Also, those who say they don't want the government between them and their doctors are forgetting that for-profit companies ARE, with far more insidious results.
People who talk about waits? I have a three month wait for my dentist NOW, and I have no insurance.
These companies at the very least need to be regulated. These companies are screwing you, and me. It's just that simple. If I had a terminal disease, they wouldn't even give me the privilege of screwing me, because of my pre-existing condition.
So if you have a problem with existing legislation, great, what's your idea? If you can offer a better idea you have my undivided attention, but if your comment is the general 'government can't be trusted' - you know, because they can't be trusted - that's not a solution, that's obstruction.
Finally, my feeling is imperfect legislation is better than nothing, we need to move the pendulum in the right direction even if we can't create perfection the first time around.
First, I think that we should have a single payer system. On the other hand, I have no illusion that that is currently politically possible.
I personally (and I say this respectfully, because I'm sure you mean well) don't understand the logic of folks who say that the government can't be trusted to accomplish the oversight of a reasonable health care system. As an example, look at the subject of schooling -- only the most far out of the mainstream person would think that we shouldn't have schools for everyone. No, they may not all be first rate, some may be poorly run, but what's the alternative - that only the rich people get educated?
Plus, you can still pay for private school if you want and have the resources.
Another example - suppose every one of us is responsible for the little piece of road in front of our house? Won't work. The government (state, local or national - depending on the road) HAS to do it.
The same people who support our keeping a standing army run by the government trot out this notion that the government can't do anything when they want to obstruct change. Why don't we all get some guns individually, and then we'll meet up in the town square when someone invades? Even John Boehner doesn't think that (note to John: lighten up on the spray tanning product, fella.)
We need the government, when things aren't working in government, we need to improve them by voting, protesting etc., but government is a reality.
Also, those who say they don't want the government between them and their doctors are forgetting that for-profit companies ARE, with far more insidious results.
People who talk about waits? I have a three month wait for my dentist NOW, and I have no insurance.
These companies at the very least need to be regulated. These companies are screwing you, and me. It's just that simple. If I had a terminal disease, they wouldn't even give me the privilege of screwing me, because of my pre-existing condition.
So if you have a problem with existing legislation, great, what's your idea? If you can offer a better idea you have my undivided attention, but if your comment is the general 'government can't be trusted' - you know, because they can't be trusted - that's not a solution, that's obstruction.
Finally, my feeling is imperfect legislation is better than nothing, we need to move the pendulum in the right direction even if we can't create perfection the first time around.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Stop ragging on Woodstock.....
.
MY LETTER TO THE AUTHOR OF THE ARTICLE LINKED BELOW:
Dear Mr. Tyrangiel,
I'm stuck by a comment you made in the article in Time Magazine "Woodstock: How Does It Sound 40 Years Later?"
You said: "To have not been alive during Woodstock, we're told, was to have missed the freest moment in American history.
Boomers do this regularly, of course — make up stuff about how great they are. They're also eager consumers of goods that jog the memory of their greatness."
I am enough struck by your cluelessness that I felt compelled to write. You might be surprised to hear that I wasn't presently engaged in "making up stuff about how great I was". You'd be right to assert (as your article does without directly stating) that nostalgia is indeed a sort of prism, and some of the light it yields is amplified truth, and other light is not refracted at all. It stands to reason that one might encounter or experience an exaggerated sense of justice or purpose in the events of 40 years ago, and in doing so look past the foibles.
My observation to your thoughts is this: in my humble view, pretty much every comment you make in this section of the article, really exhibits a value system existing your personal core beliefs that completely misses the point -- of the event, of the music, and to a certain extent - of life. I'd have more success explaining music to the Taliban.
If I were to try to explain it to that Taliban person, it would to say how music - at its best - uplifts the human spirit, and brings us closer to our essence, emotionally and spiritually.
On a more brass tacks level, I could refute some of your musical judgement, by mentioning - for one example - that contrary to your view, Richie Havens performance is far more polished in terms of intonation, than CSNY's "Suite: Judy Blue Eyes". To get into that point by point is to wallow in mud I have no interest in being in. The thing that they both have, which seems to be missed by your assessment is the passion by which they are delivered, and they both score highly in that regard for me.
The summary is that the values extant in your viewpoint ultimately exploit different capital than those of the Woodstock generation. Try this on for size: money's good but it's not everything, singing in tune is good, but it's not everything.
The real important stuff is elsewhere...
...but no matter -- I'll bet you have (in a metaphorical sense if not in actuality) autotune installed and hard at work on your computer as we speak....
Welcome to 2009!
MY LETTER TO THE AUTHOR OF THE ARTICLE LINKED BELOW:
Dear Mr. Tyrangiel,
I'm stuck by a comment you made in the article in Time Magazine "Woodstock: How Does It Sound 40 Years Later?"
You said: "To have not been alive during Woodstock, we're told, was to have missed the freest moment in American history.
Boomers do this regularly, of course — make up stuff about how great they are. They're also eager consumers of goods that jog the memory of their greatness."
I am enough struck by your cluelessness that I felt compelled to write. You might be surprised to hear that I wasn't presently engaged in "making up stuff about how great I was". You'd be right to assert (as your article does without directly stating) that nostalgia is indeed a sort of prism, and some of the light it yields is amplified truth, and other light is not refracted at all. It stands to reason that one might encounter or experience an exaggerated sense of justice or purpose in the events of 40 years ago, and in doing so look past the foibles.
My observation to your thoughts is this: in my humble view, pretty much every comment you make in this section of the article, really exhibits a value system existing your personal core beliefs that completely misses the point -- of the event, of the music, and to a certain extent - of life. I'd have more success explaining music to the Taliban.
If I were to try to explain it to that Taliban person, it would to say how music - at its best - uplifts the human spirit, and brings us closer to our essence, emotionally and spiritually.
On a more brass tacks level, I could refute some of your musical judgement, by mentioning - for one example - that contrary to your view, Richie Havens performance is far more polished in terms of intonation, than CSNY's "Suite: Judy Blue Eyes". To get into that point by point is to wallow in mud I have no interest in being in. The thing that they both have, which seems to be missed by your assessment is the passion by which they are delivered, and they both score highly in that regard for me.
The summary is that the values extant in your viewpoint ultimately exploit different capital than those of the Woodstock generation. Try this on for size: money's good but it's not everything, singing in tune is good, but it's not everything.
The real important stuff is elsewhere...
...but no matter -- I'll bet you have (in a metaphorical sense if not in actuality) autotune installed and hard at work on your computer as we speak....
Welcome to 2009!
Sunday, June 28, 2009
This Vessel....
I've been thinking a lot, with all the celebrity deaths we've experienced lately, about this vessel we travel in during our time on this earth. It is so resilient -- but paradoxically it's so fragile too.
Michael Jackson went (seemingly) stunningly fast, but Farrah Fawcett held on until she literally couldn't perceive life/people/events around her. Her struggle, as related by the people around her (I watched a TV show about it) was SO brutal. Lots of love for her, but OH the lingering!
My own mother's story seems like an amalgam, a sudden setback, but then a lot of suffering. I don't know about you, but I saw myself and my mortality in my mother, the coming story to be repeated.
In addition the Farrah story reminds me of my neighbor Regina's struggle (again with cancer). I spent a lot of time with Regina in the final months. More than anyone else except paid nurses, I think.
Each an unimaginably deep loss, for friends, family, the unique person inside their aging vessel.
I've also been thinking about other people (in addition to mom and Regina) who aren't lucky enough to get the attention of the world when their time comes. Darfur, Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan...not to mention the endless parade of cancer sufferers, accident victims, etc.The world is FILLED with these stories.
That's why I wish CNN would get the super duper Michael Jackson headline off their site and go back to covering the news. Michael's gone, whether or not we know every little detail the minute it's knowable. Yes it is news, and he obviously suffered in ways that most of us would never understand, being in a fishbowl for life, but the good that journalism can do is not manifested in this endless prurient obsession with every detail of this.
For a loving and insightful tribute to Jackson, see what the amazing Deepak Chopra has written.
Let's play his music (link included mostly because of the dancing), and make other music instead.
Then I look at my nephew's kid (the pictures on vacation at the beach), whose body looks so much like mine did when I was 8, and then I look at myself in the mirror, and I'm struck by the changes in the vessel.
Which reveals the most unforgiving part of all...time ticking away, no time outs...
For now, time to go ... I usually end these posts with a joke.
This time...I got nothin'.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Chorus from PS 22 in Staten Island...
I found this video through the twitter universe (via Aston Kutcher), and wanted to share it. It shows a lot about why music is so important in our lives, and how cool NYC can be.
The passion and joy on these kid's faces tells the whole story:
The passion and joy on these kid's faces tells the whole story:
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Fighting....
I'm on facebook (like who isn't?), and tonight I'm noticing all these status updates by these women friends I have, mentioning names that I don't recognize, and in googling then I realize we're talking about prizefighters.
I'm not sure why it's the women, I thought only men were stupid enough to follow this...(oh no I DIDN'T!!)
Of course the status updates have follow up comments "I can't believe how fast so-and-so was", "I thought it would go more rounds" etc.
Am I the only person who thinks people shouldn't be fighting each other for sport? We don't let consenting adults have duels with pistols anymore, why should we let them fight with fists?
I mean, wrestling is one thing, athletic competition is fine, but hitting?
I don't go for it. There -- I said it.
I'm not sure why it's the women, I thought only men were stupid enough to follow this...(oh no I DIDN'T!!)
Of course the status updates have follow up comments "I can't believe how fast so-and-so was", "I thought it would go more rounds" etc.
Am I the only person who thinks people shouldn't be fighting each other for sport? We don't let consenting adults have duels with pistols anymore, why should we let them fight with fists?
I mean, wrestling is one thing, athletic competition is fine, but hitting?
I don't go for it. There -- I said it.
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