Theme for an Imaginary Western - Part 4

Part 4 - Fitting in and the temple pilgrimage - take 1

Well - I am working....trying to flourish in this new world. As I mentioned, it is hard for me to just sashay right into someone's camp I don't know and say hello (yeah I know, just like the 'default' world) -- but it's the only way for me to make friends because I have no prior relationships to build on. Other people seem to have no problem...even thrive. I try to say hello to people on the street, especially women, but it's not natural for me.

It is easier than in New York, though.

'NoBooty' tells me I have to just stroll into 10 strange camps a day and start up a conversation. I start doing that, but they always seem stilted and contrived. I don't know how more normal people do it! I was with a friend walking down the street about a year ago, and we - really he - struck up a conversation with these two women we just happened to walk past, and five minutes later we were all sitting down having drinks. To this day I don't understand how that happened...I mean, at the time I saw nothing particularly notable about that interaction: It must all be body language or something...

.....Clueless......

Anyway, I am being far friendlier than I am in the normal world, I'll give myself that.

It feels like everyone here either has shapely beautiful curves, or 6 pack abs - or both, and that's even the older people. Yeah, I know that's not totally true, but still...On the plus side, age doesn't feel like as much of a factor here, which is really freeing for me. Like my father before me, I'm freaked out about my age - I think it's genetic. Of course, when you look what happened to him (he ended up dead) you realize he had a point. One day, I see my shirtless reflection while walking in a car's window and I cringe. YIKES!

Counter to that though, I do realize that my favorite aspect of the women's bodies are their imperfections. How about that? I've only seen a couple of women's bodies that weren't - in some way - beautiful to me the whole time here, big or small, young or old. It's a petite epiphany for me.

Of course, having just been through Western Nevada, I'm well aware these folks are not a representative cross section of the general population.

THE MUSIC MAN:
I'm having similar insights through sharing my music. I brought my guitar, and have also been playing pianos located throughout the city here (believe it or not, people bring actual pianos out to the desert here). In addition, I have been going into center camp every day where they have 24 hour a day performances by burners, and have come to find a very interesting thing:

Prowess is not the coin of the realm here.

Yes, I know, that mirrors that pesky 'default' world too -- but for some reason I'm far more present to it here....and yet it's less insidious, because it doesn't feel so unfair, it just is what it is. Maybe the stakes don't feel so high - I don't know. Maybe I like these people, but don't particularly like Justin Beiber.

I was at 'More Fun, Less Suck' one day, and I played all my best stuff. I was on fire musically, but a little subdued in terms of 'stage presence' ... maybe somewhat...let's say sonically apologetic, kind of waiting for people to be drawn in so I could then come out.

Later a drummer comes by - yeah, he's good I guess - but not amazing. However...He's just putting it all out there from his first downbeat, and he soon has the whole camp dancing in the streets.

Similarly, some of the performers at Center Camp really aren't that good technically, but the level of their connection comes from somewhere else entirely. I find myself sitting there thinking "I'm so much better than that" but of course I'm never there trying to get a slot, so that means absolutely nothing.

I only saw one act that sucked at Center Camp, and they sucked because they didn't connect, not because they didn't know the chords. They seemed uh, clueless...Hmmm, did I just use that word earlier?

Anyway, there were two times when I felt like I was really connecting musically. One day I took a stroll down the esplanade (the 'oceanfront' street as it were), playing my guitar, and I had a German camera crew come up and film me...



After initially hearing me play, they seemed pretty excited, making sure to get a view of me under the distant man (seen over my shoulder in the above picture). I told them the could film me if they also snapped a couple of pictures on my little camera for me to have.

Later, I was playing piano, doing a pretty good blues (just improvising it), and a guy was filming me on his camcorder with an obvious sense of delight. I really think that delight was because of the situation. It was during a full whiteout sandstorm, so I had on my hat, green colored goggles and particle mask, and dust was flying by as I was sitting and playing - and I think he thought that was cool.

Actually it was a pretty cool scene. AWESOME...my new gimmick is performing in inclement weather!!

Very instructive.

Inauthenticity alert: suspect spotted hiding behind technical prowess to avoid vulnerablility.

Translation: It's nice to be good, but it means nothing if you got no heart.

I've lots of work to do on that one. I'm realizing it not only affects my music, but shows up in my personal relationships -- that's onerous…a catch 22 if ever there was one, since my technique obviously needs work there.

THE TEMPLE:
The temple has been fascinating me, ever since I read about it long ago....



As I mentioned, people write things on the temple walls, and then at the end of the week they burn the temple. I'm told the ceremony has a sacred air to it, and some people that are at the temple burn have very emotional reactions, and it uplifts them in some way.

So early in the week I went out to the temple when all was quiet. I wanted to get my little bit in. I thought about the reasons that I had for coming out to the desert this summer, and what I'm trying to accomplish in my own little journey. Here's how I explained my temple visit to my friends on facebook one cold dawn from center camp:

Yesterday I took the journey out, meandering about a mile by foot with no particular mission.....


....and out of dumb luck, ended up there. When I realized I was at the Temple, I asked to borrow a woman's marker, and on an almost blank wall, I wrote the following: "Fuck Fear, Fuck Loneliness (in a box crossed out), Music!! (in a heart) ...and in another place (not pictured) -- Fuck Repression."....



When I came out of my focused moment, I could see the woman was obviously having a very tearful, emotional moment after what she had written, and I said, "Could I hug you?", and we hugged. I could tell she appreciated it. I think it helped her feel connected and comforted.

It's a very powerful place.

...broad strokes for sure, and - in retrospect - kind of angry ones, don't you agree? It's funny how anger can seep out of my pores without being directly detectable to me in the moment...

Later as I was walking back to camp, I was thinking about how angry and reactionary that seemed, and how I should send something out in the burn that was more about gratitude.

I stopped past 'More Fun Less Suck', as I often would on the way back to my modest digs, and Reklaw was there. Reklaw is a beautiful young woman with an interesting accent. She has a Meg Tilly vibe (sort of a Marilyn Monroe, breathy voice quality) but with very focused intelligent content in her words. More on this later....

Reklaw: "Would you like a fortune cookie?"

"Sure". (I brought - like - 12 cans of tuna and a chunk of cheese, so that's a real treat)

When I opened up the cookie and read the fortune, I knew I had unfinished business at the Temple…

Theme for an Imaginary Western - Part 3

Part three: 'Welcome Home".

As far as the car's concerned, this thump is most certainly a mechanical problem. I can't tell how loud it is outside the car, but it's definitely a loud sound inside the car. I'm looking at the people standing outside the car to see if they're reacting to it with any level of surprise. Nobody jumps when I shift.

That's good...

It is a change in the way it sounded - for sure. Fortunately, I don't see any dripping fluid, and it's still working fine, so I figure "what the hell" -- I'm just going in. As long as it'll start at the end of the week, and I can get it out of here, we'll sort it out then…

ENTREE:
When you get there, you're in a huge line - and even given that people are waiting - they ask you "are you a virgin?" meaning a first time 'burner'.

I say "In every respect." (By the way, I heard you do revert back after a while.)

"We'd like you to get out of the car and ring the bell". They have an old empty lead compressed gas canister with a sawed off bottom hanging from above the gate which they escort me to, and I'm instructed to hit it with a beater they hand you - "as hard as you can". You then lie down in the very, very dusty soil, and you make a 'dust' angel. When you stand up, you're filthy, and everyone hugs you, and they all say "welcome home".

As a matter of fact, whenever some one asks you if it's your 'first burn' they often follow your answer with "welcome home." It really feels great.

I'm only at the entrance point, I already like the fact that the aesthetic content of the moment -- the 'art' of it - supersedes the fact that other people are waiting in line -- and that the welcome is definitely genuine. When I wake up the next morning after pitching the tent and sleeping a long sleep, I notice that I'm still hearing that sound of the ringing bell dinging in the distance, and that constant ringing would continue for days to come.

When I ride in, I'm looking at and navigating in a grid that has been cordoned off into a semicircular grid of streets....

The city is roughly about half the size of the downtown San Francisco (I've seen this overlay map that shows that), so it's huge. It's about 14,000 feet in circumference, which is about 2.65 miles from one side to the other, so that bike would have come in quite handy. Over the week, I will walk that distance many times over.

I finally eye a spot which is pretty damn close to the center of things, and I negotiate with a guy named 'Novus' for a little spot in his and his friends' area. I'm not crazy about Novus upon first meeting, but the spot is really great, and they finally say that I can park my car right there once we figure out some logistics, and I've got good shielding from the wind. The wind is supposed to be intense at times. I'll actually tie the tent to the car for added safety.

The funny thing is that I never saw Novus again...

I don't know about Novus' name, but as it turns out, many of your veteran burners have 'playa names', so as I'm introduced to people in the coming days, they are named things like 'Smalls', 'Pear Bear', 'Quiet', 'Jugger', and 'reklaw'. I just use my regular name.

Also people set up their camps and give their camps names. I'm directly across from "The Super Friends", and catty-corner to me is "More Fun, Less Suck"....


More Fun, Less Suck have a good setup, they have a shade structure right on the street....



.....and they sit there with a megaphone yelling at people who come by, inviting them in for a drink or asking the men 'to show us your tits' (very good success rate there). As luck would have it, many of the women are already topless.

As for dress, everything is about costumes. Burning Man has the feel of a halloween party that goes on for a week. 'No-No' from the 'More Fun Less Suck' camp pops up from her chair from time to time and says, pointing her finger in the air, "Time for a costume change!" and subsequently reappears in 5 minutes in something new. Other folks are less exuberant or spontaneous about it - but still into it in a big way, and some people assume a personna which they continue in for the entire week. Many times the women are very sexily clad, bustiers, heels, or nothing at all...


God bless Burning Man! You're told to be very respectful about pictures - which I appreciate - so I don't have any of those kinds of photos that I would share - even the ones where I asked if it's OK I take. Some men walk around naked as well, but of course that's not anything that catches my eye.

Amongst all this, I'm definitely the clueless one. I have a hat from Sears - bought at the last minute - which I hate, and a pair of kid's swimming goggles that are lime green. I use a construction particle mask from a hardware store for windstorms....


Everything else is my regular clothes. In other words, I got nothin'. I put zero thought into it, and for the first time - even though I'm not big on Halloween - I kind of wish I had. People are mostly fine with my underwhelmingness, but I certainly see how I'm the 'plain jane' of the playa.

Plus I have no shade structure, I'm on the bad side of the street (with respect to the sun exposure), so there's no hanging at my place. Plus, I have a teenie tent which is getting filthier by the hour....


.....and I'm not a veteran. When the veterans talk about past years, or "what is so-and-so up to?", I'm lost. It's the opposite of my 'real' life in NYC (or what burners would call the "default world").

I am the lowest value person on the playa for sure.

Thus, I have to go hang out with other people - just show up and sit down. You can only spend so much time alone in a small tent in 100 degree weather before you simply have to impose on someone's hospitality -- and to me it feels like imposition. They say it isn't, and in the abstract, it's obvious that there is more hospitality, tolerance and welcoming here than in the 'default world', but I can still detect that some people can take me or leave me, to put it kindly.

At 'More Fun Less Suck' I have a mentor in 'NoBooty'...



...and his partner 'Chopper'....



They are Rangers - in other words they are the Black Rock 'police' - so to speak. There are offical Nevada Sheriffs on the scene, but the Rangers are the first line in keeping the peace and controlling the crowds. The rangers hold the order of the city together surprisingly well. It's an all volunteer group, and they are all 'burners' just like anyone else there, who decided to volunteer to help out. Nobooty - who is a 10 year burner - tells me what to expect, both as the week progresses, and also in the way to experience every event ('stand with the wind to your back at the burn', for example).

It seems, Nobooty tells me, some of the nudity will abate as the weekend draws near due to the presence of the 'yahoo' crowd, which is generally the locals that come in over the weekend to yell and scream. They aren't real 'burners' in the veteran's eyes, since they don't love the art and lifestyle as much as they love a big party with lots of women and dancing.

Crap. I was enjoying that nudity. Now I hate yahoos too!

The culture is jokingly touted as 'openly corrupt'. One day I'm at the ice store: long line. One of the workers there with a megaphone announces that because a woman has brought them drink mix and alcohol she gets to cut to the front of the line. Imagine that in a block long line in New York City…. Here: cheers erupt as she's escorted forward.

I go to the post office (yes, Black Rock City actually has 2 post offices). Seeing my mail, the reticent woman postal worker there (who is behind the counter topless) asks, "What have you got to give me?". I finally get her to agree to take my mail when I agree to walk out on the Esplanade for 30 minutes and tell passing people about the Post Office.

Center Camp is a very cool place (shown here in a sand storm)...



It is a circular building with an open roof that is shaded by strips of cloth and clothing which has a lot of art in it. There are two stages right opposite each other, one has comedians and the other has 24 hour-a-day music. In the middle is a circular spot where people do yoga, or dance. There are people giving massages, and other bodywork, and the coffee place is in there. Plus a lot of people are asleep in there, lying on the floor. There are couches and tables and chairs all over the place, and everything is really dusty....



You gotta love dust here. In a way it's kinda cool -- like living life inside of a movie. 'Mad Max' meets 'Woodstock' maybe.

I spend time in Center Camp in the early mornings listening to acoustic performances at sunrise. It's the only time a primitive Internet connection they have at Center Camp is fast enough to allow even the simplest activities -- and I'm taking the edge off loneliness by being in touch with friends on Facebook.

Artsy, Fartsy:
The art at Burning Man, by the way, is amazing. I have never seen anything quite like it, and New York is known to have some of the best museums and exhibitions in the world….and I don't just mean from the standpoint of uniqueness, I mean I've never witnessed a spectacle this compelling, exciting, creative, engaging....






Part of it is it's sense of whimsey, a quality which in this incarnation can only be manifested by a community. No single great artist could get it this right. I have many pictures, but it's like trying to film the Grand Canyon. Like photos of the Grand Canyon, the best picture will never come close to creating the sensation of being out on the Playa seeing all this stuff happening at once. It's huge. Everything is burning. Unexplainable. Especially at night.








And the so called 'mutant vehicles' are fantastic! The DMV (you guessed it - 'department of mutant vehicles') actually licenses all the conveyances that aren't bicycles, and you aren't allowed to drive anything on the inner playa itself, except a bicycle or one of the art cars, and they must be severely modified in some way to qualify for licensing:













In the middle of all this stands 'the man', that will be burned on Saturday night. The figure is at least 100 feet tall in total and stands on a large platform that has 3 floors of stairs so you can walk up to just below the man:






At the back of the circle that is the City, out on the other end of the open Playa, is the temple. People go to the temple and write intentions, goodbyes, eulogies, and other meaningful things on the temple walls. The temple will burn on Sunday night:



All in all, I am so glad to I came to see and be a part of this. It really does feel like "welcome home".

Yes, These are my people.

Whit has cool stuff...

Whit has all sorts of video and pictures and other neat things. These often go up without being prefaced by the reason for their inclusion.

Blogging with pictures and video? I WANT THAT!

Today it's a cool video from Duke University about exploration under the ocean. Of course, there's no explanation that he's a Duke alumnus. You just just have to know that (or not) I guess.

How cool is that?

The only problem is that I can't get used to the non sequitur nature of the beast! On a positive note, I do realize I just read the word 'blog' for the first time today without thinking 'man, that's a weird word' -- or 'what does that word mean again'. So there's hope for me yet....